Alcoholism Is a Cunning, Baffling, and Powerful Disease

How Can I Get Him to Stop Drinking?

By BuddyT

By the time family members ask this question, the drinker has usually crossed over from occasional alcohol abuse to full-blown alcohol dependence.

In other words, they have continued to drink in spite of obvious problems caused by their drinking. Personal, social, and perhaps legal problems that would cause most reasonable persons to conclude that their drinking should stop, do not seem to have much affect on those who are alcohol dependent.

The reason for this is alcoholism, or severe alcohol use disorder, is almost always accompanied by denial that there is a problem.

Denial Is Part of the Problem

No matter how obvious the problem appears to those around the alcoholic, the alcohol dependent person loudly denies that drinking is the cause, and typically blames the circumstances or people around them instead.

RELATED: How To Help Someone With A Drinking Problem

When visitors to AlcoholismGuide.com ask the above question about the drinker in their lives, via email, the answer they usually receive is, "Unfortunately, there is not much anyone can do, until they admit they have a problem."

If the alcoholic is not ready to reach out for help, efforts by friends and family to try to force them to admit to the problem, usually causes more problems. It's only when the consequences of their drinking becomes painful enough -- when they "hit bottom" -- will they reach out for help.

Low-Bottom Alcoholics

Sometimes in extreme cases, when the drinker's health and well-being becomes critically threatened, a professional intervention may become necessary, but even then sometimes the attempt will create even more family problems.

So, what do we tell the families when they ask what they can do to help? We suggest that they attend Al-Anon meetings in their area, or join an online group to learn more about the family disease of alcoholism.

RELATED: Loving Someone With Alcohol Use Disorder—Dos and Dont's

In Al-Anon, family members can learn more about the unhealthy roles they may be playing in the life of the alcoholic, and whether or not their actions may actually be enabling the alcoholic to continue in their behavior, without them realizing it.

Help for Families of Alcoholics

But, Al-Anon members also learn that part of the solution is offering encouragement and understanding to their alcoholic relatives without crossing the line into enabling, and without letting themselves get pulled into someone else's problem.

In Al-Anon Family Groups, family members can learn how to detach from the alcoholic's problems -- not the alcoholic -- and can find a wealth of Al-Anon literature to read that can help them to find solutions that lead to serenity.

Find an Al-Anon Family Group meeting near you.

Learn more about Family Support.